


Stiles is Pregnant

by Shadowed_Words



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Crack, Fluff, Human male biology does not work like that, M/M, Mpreg, magic-sorta
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-03
Updated: 2014-01-03
Packaged: 2018-01-07 05:59:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 336
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1116349
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shadowed_Words/pseuds/Shadowed_Words
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stiles is Pregnant, and not pleased.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Stiles is Pregnant

**Author's Note:**

  * For [CupcakeTerminal](https://archiveofourown.org/users/CupcakeTerminal/gifts).
  * Translation into Español available: [Stiles está embarazado.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/9665816) by [Nevermoree](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nevermoree/pseuds/Nevermoree)



> Disclaimer: I'm not trying to attack anyone's views on Mpreg, but the biology piece of it is a bit ridiculous sometimes. Also I don't own the characters or the show, I'm just borrowing them.
> 
> This is for Angie, I hope it helps.

“What do you mean pregnant! In case you hadn’t noticed I’m a boy!” Stiles shrieked. “I am a boy! With boy parts! Nothing can grow in here!” He gestured wildly at his lower half. “There are no eggs to fertilize! None! I don’t care how powerful your wolfy sperm is! You cannot have gotten me pregnant, human male biology does _not_ work like that!”

Derek just looked at his mate and said, “Magic.”

“Fuck you! Magic does not give me girl parts! Where the hell would the baby even grow? Huh? There is no space! News flash, I don’t have a fucking _uterus_!”

Stile continued to pace around the kitchen, his hand gesticulated wildly as his agitation grew.

“Even if hypothetically I could grow a magical baby wolf cub, _you can’t poop out babies_! It doesn't work like that! I couldn’t have a C-section, because again human male biology does not work like that! Especially if you got me pregnant up the ass, where, in your asinine logic, that is where the baby would grow! I have a fucking _spine_! You can just cut that up to get to our magical baby!”

“Stiles. Calm down.”

Stiles stopped pacing long enough to glare at Derek. His eyes narrowed as he raised his arm and pointed accusingly at him.

“ _You_. You did this to me! _‘Oh it’s perfectly safe, werewolves don’t get disease!’_ That’s what you said! You never told me you could get me _pregnant!_ ”

“It’s not like I planned this.” Derek sighed and ran his hand through his hair. “I didn’t even know it was possible. Laura was the next alpha.”

Stiles breathed out a small, ' _oh_.'

His shoulders slumped and the anger washed out of him. 

“Aw Der, I didn’t mean—“

Derek waved off his words. “I know.”

Stiles took the seat next to him, suddenly exhausted.

“So we’re having a baby? You’re sure?”

“Yeah, probably more than one.”

“ _What!?_ ”

“Part wolf Stiles.”

“Oh great. There is definitely not enough space for that.”

The End


End file.
